Sensitive Subject Matter
by ConstantOther
Summary: Of all the things he expected, acquiring a teenage boy as a pet was not one of them... He was going to jail, he just knew it. AU


Disclaimer: I don't own Code Geass.

A.N: I had to, I really did. Anyway, this is partly inspired by _Tramps Like Us_ by Yayoi Ogawa, of which I've only read the first volume (and that was years ago.) So there won't be that much in common with it other than the general premise. As far as the mafia thing goes… The Britannian Royal Family as always reminded me of the mafia. (And the Knights of Round reminds me of the whole guardian thing from REBORN.)

**Sensitive Subject Matter  
Chapter One: Misery**

In the twenty-second century, there were no longer any empires.

Unless, of course, you counted the familial empires that ruled through the vices of society and individuals. Empires that could span continents, control local governments and law enforcement like puppeteers and their marionettes, and inspire fear like nearly nothing else, while never stepping out of the shadows. It was fortunate that most of these empires were on the decline; either too spent from wars with other Families or suffocating from internal rot. However, there remained one Family who stood removed from the deterioration of the other Houses…

The Britannia.

The Family boasted that it could trace its roots back thousands of years and throughout nearly all those years they watched the world change, moving things along to their liking. Some said that they ruled the world, but without all the paperwork. It wasn't a pleasant thought for those standing in their way.

Most major countries had at least an internal taskforce meant to build a case against the Family but no one ever really complained if nothing got done. Most were afraid of what would happen to their families and friends as well as themselves if they dug too deep. The reach of the Britannia Family was, seemingly, unlimited. Many would acknowledge a potential lead but let it go cold in the end.

FBI agent Endymion Zero was not one of those people.

Perhaps it was because his past was something of a blank slate (not even the agent who approached him with the job knew much about him) or maybe because he had no family and seemingly no friends. For most of his co-workers, it was as if he had no life outside of his work (there was an ongoing joke that Zero ceased to exist when he went home. Wisely, no matter how many dares they got, none of them ever mentioned this to him.) There might have been other reasons but the majority attributed his lack of fear to the japing blank that was Endymion Zero's non-professional life.

For a long while Zero, like every one else, thought he would continue to function just as he had. Wake up, get ready, head in hours earlier than the others, pause briefly for lunch (with or without his partner), continue working, leave hours after the rest of the team, and then attempt to get some sleep. The routine had gone basically uninterrupted for nearly seven years but now–

He was bored with it.

* * *

("Well, you certainly live up to your name."  
"Endymion? No he doesn't."  
"Who's Endymion?"  
"It's my first name."  
"…You have a _first name?_")

* * *

"How long are you going to stay today?" Her voice was heavy with mocking amusement. Zero looked up from the report file before him (the Family was looking for a Knight for Euphemia li Britannia) and stared dispassionately at his counter-part. Clarice Callaghan, or rather C.C, had been his partner ever since his mentor had retired (which wasn't to say that he never heard from him. In all actuality, Zero was waiting with bated breath for the man to fall off the face of the Earth. It hadn't happened yet.)

"Until driving becomes potentially hazardous." The look she gave him was similar to the one mothers gave their children after they said or did something disappointing, except this was C.C so it read closer to 'God you're an idiot'. Fortunately, Zero didn't much care.

"That was twenty minutes ago."

"Was it? I must've missed the memo."

"Just like you missed the one saying you were supposed to take today off." By then, he had returned to the report.

"Hmm."

"Zero, look at me." She waited patiently for him to comply. "Go home. The last thing any of us needs is for you to suffer from burnout." It was a nice sentiment he supposed, if a bit too late. Burnout, from what he could tell, had already set in.

Their staring contest lasted a few more seconds before he got bored with it. The _Euphemia's Knight_ file was stashed in his briefcase along with a few others that needed updating. Once everything was collected, his desktop shut down, and C.C herded out of his office, Zero locked the door and walked past the woman without so much as a 'goodbye'. This wasn't anything unusual for them, though the rest of the team still wondered how they could manage to work well together while still remaining so rude. He figured it was because the two of them took equal amounts of sadistic pleasure in pushing the other's buttons and so, could relate well enough.

The time spent reaching his car was something of a blur and he barely remembered to check for any bombs. He had openly admitted to being paranoid multiple times but considering which unit he worked in, Zero felt justified. (He was patiently waiting for one of Tamaki's many girlfriends to revel themselves as an agent of the Britannia Family.)

Much of the drive to his apartment was spent vaguely remembering a conversation C.C had had in his general direction days earlier. She'd been playing therapist and had told him to either get someone to "fuck through the bed and various other flat surfaces" or get a pet. Honestly speaking neither was much of an option. Zero wasn't fond of most people, his apartment complex prohibited pets beyond fish (which were for _eating_, anyway), and both required maintenance and more time than it was worth in the end.

It was kind of a shame, really. A cat wouldn't be all that bad.

* * *

("Now that I think about it, you should get a human."  
"For what?"  
"A pet."  
"In the country we live in C.C, owning another human is illegal."  
"Minor technicality.")

* * *

Apartment number 25Z's interior was simplistic at best and sparse at worst. It didn't really matter to Zero since he rarely, if ever, allowed anyone into his home. The walls were painted a pale golden cream, and the carpet a dark burgundy. (C.C had noted once, that he could spill red wine on it and never have to worry about the stain showing.) Other than the lack of dust, nearly filled bookcases and stacks of paperwork, nothing indicated that anyone lived there.

Maybe he didn't. He had more trinkets and knickknacks in his office than he did here. Now, wasn't _that_ a depressing thought.

Hunger was becoming an issue by then, convincing him it was good idea to drop his briefcase on the couch and see if there was anything he could eat that wouldn't give him food poisoning the next morning. He passed the coffee table on his way to the kitchen. A slender pile of request forms sat at its edge, most nonsensical things that would get denied without a second thought.

The top sheet requested an updated picture for Lelouch vi Britannia's profile.

* * *

End Notes:  
25Z – Zero's apartment building consisted of 25 floors (the lobby isn't numbered but there isn't a 13th floor), and each of the numbered floors has either 14 or 12 apartments: A-N and O-Z. The O-Z apartments are larger than the A-N ones. Also the apartment Zero has is a corner apartment.

Also, there is a cameo of an underused character in this chapter. Be the first to guess right and you get to pick a scene. However, the entire fic is going to be written over (Zero's) shoulder 3rd person so if you pick a SuzaLulu scene, he'll be playing voyeur during it.


End file.
